Grief & Bereavement

Losing someone can affect every part of your life.

Whether the death was expected or sudden, recent or many years ago, grief can bring feelings and reactions you weren’t prepared for.

There isn’t a correct way to grieve.

And there isn’t a timetable for when you should feel “better”.

If you feel you may be in immediate danger — Your safety comes first.

WHAT CAN GRIEF FEEL LIKE?

Grief isn’t only sadness.

You might experience:

  • shock or disbelief
  • anger
  • guilt
  • anxiety
  • loneliness
  • numbness
  • exhaustion
  • confusion
  • relief
  • difficulty concentrating
  • changes in sleep or appetite
  • feeling disconnected from other people

Sometimes you might feel relatively OK.

Then a song, photograph, smell, place, anniversary or ordinary moment can suddenly bring everything back.

That’s part of grief too.

GRIEF DOESN’T FOLLOW A STRAIGHT LINE

You may have heard people talk about different stages of grief.

Real life is rarely that tidy.

You might feel angry one day, numb the next and able to laugh with someone the day after that.

Feeling OK for a while doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten the person.

And having a difficult day after a better period doesn’t mean you’re going backwards.

Grief can change over time.

LOOK AFTER THE BASICS

When you’re grieving, ordinary things can become difficult.

Try to:

  • eat regularly where you can
  • rest when you need to
  • get outside
  • stay connected with people you trust
  • accept practical help
  • reduce unnecessary pressure on yourself
  • avoid relying heavily on alcohol or drugs to cope

These things won’t take grief away.

They’re simply ways of looking after yourself while you’re carrying it.

TALK ABOUT THEM IF YOU WANT

You don’t have to stop talking about someone because they’ve died.

  • Say their name.
  • Share stories.
  • Look at photographs.
  • Remember the things that made you laugh.
  • You may want to talk about the difficult memories too.

Other people might worry that mentioning the person will upset you. It’s OK to tell them what you need.

WHAT IF OTHER PEOPLE SEEM TO BE MOVING ON?

Grief can feel particularly lonely when life around you begins returning to normal.

Other people may stop asking how you are.

They may assume you’re doing better because some time has passed.

That doesn’t mean you should be “over it”.

Your relationship with the person was unique, and so is your grief.

WHEN SHOULD I ASK FOR SUPPORT?

You don’t need to wait until you’re unable to cope.

Consider talking to someone if grief is having a significant impact on everyday life, you’re becoming increasingly isolated, you’re struggling to look after yourself, or you’re finding it difficult to cope with what you’re feeling.

WHEN GRIEF BRINGS SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

Bereavement can sometimes affect your own mental health.

If you’re thinking about suicide or feel that you can’t keep going, tell someone.

If you’re in immediate danger, call 999 or 112 or go to your nearest Emergency Department.

Samaritans can be contacted free on 116 123, day or night.

ABOUT PIPS CHARITY

PIPS Suicide Prevention Charity provides compassionate support for people experiencing depression, suicidal thoughts and emotional distress.

You don’t need to have everything figured out before getting in touch. Tell us what’s happening and we can start there.