Relationships & Break-ups

Relationships can be one of the best parts of our lives.

They can also be one of the hardest.

Arguments, rejection, separation, divorce, friendship breakdown or the end of a relationship can have a huge effect on how you feel.

You may be grieving the person, the relationship and the future you thought you’d have together.

If you feel you may be in immediate danger — Your safety comes first.

WHY CAN A BREAK-UP HURT SO MUCH?

When an important relationship ends, lots of things can change at once.

You may lose:

  • daily contact with someone
  • routines
  • mutual friends
  • your home
  • financial security
  • time with children or family
  • plans you’d made together
  • part of your sense of identity

That’s a lot of change to process.

It’s understandable if it feels overwhelming.

GIVE YOURSELF TIME

There isn’t a deadline for getting over somebody.

Some days you’ll feel as though you’re moving forward.

Then something may suddenly bring the feelings back.

That doesn’t mean you’ve gone backwards.

Try not to make recovery another thing you think you’re failing at.

BE CAREFUL WITH CONSTANT CHECKING

After a relationship ends, it can be tempting to repeatedly check someone’s social media, messages or online activity.

Notice how you feel afterwards.

If checking consistently makes you more anxious, angry or upset, creating some distance may help.

TRY NOT TO ISOLATE YOURSELF

You might not want to talk about what happened.

That’s OK.

But try not to disappear from everyone.

Spend time with people who make you feel safe.

You don’t have to discuss the relationship every time you’re together.

Sometimes ordinary conversation and company can help too.

AVOID MAKING BIG DECISIONS IN THE WORST MOMENT

The first hours or days after a relationship ends can be extremely emotional.

Give yourself time before making major decisions where possible.

Be particularly careful with alcohol or drugs if you’re already distressed, as they can make emotions and impulsive decisions harder to manage.

WHEN A RELATIONSHIP ISN’T SAFE

Arguments and disagreements happen in relationships.

Living in fear of another person is different.

Threats, intimidation, violence, sexual violence, coercion, humiliation and controlling behaviour aren’t simply normal relationship problems.

If you don’t feel safe, tell somebody you trust and seek specialist support.

If there is immediate danger, call 999 or 112.

WHEN A BREAK-UP MAKES LIFE FEEL UNBEARABLE

Relationship breakdown can sometimes trigger intense hopelessness.

You may think:

“I can’t live without them.”

“I’ve lost everything.”

“There’s no point anymore.”

Don’t carry those thoughts by yourself.

Stay around other people if you can.

Tell somebody how badly you’re struggling.

If you’re thinking about suicide, seek support now.

ABOUT PIPS CHARITY

You don’t need to minimise what you’re going through because it’s “just a relationship” or “just a break-up”.

If it’s affecting your mental health, it matters.

PIPS Charity provides a non-judgemental place to talk about what’s happened and how you’re coping.